Suggested by Lonesome EJ on 22 Oct 2008:

JOLLY GREEN GIANT
As recorded by the Kingsmen, 1965.

In the valley of the jolly (ho, ho, ho)—wow!

You've heard about the Jolly Green Giant. (Potatoes!)
He's so big and mean. (Artichoke hearts!)
He stands there laughin' with his hands on his hips
When he hits you with a can of beans.

He lives down in his valley. (Brussels sprouts!)
The cat stands tall and green. (Spinach!)
He ain't no prize, and there's no women his size,
And that's why the cat's so mean.

One day he left – his valley pad.
I mean to say – this cat was mad.
Now lookin' round, – he wasn't gone long,
And then he run into an Amazon.

Well, this changed his whole complexion. (Broccoli!)
He had never seen such beautiful sight. (Corn!)
He looked at her and she looked at him,
And she almost passed out from fright.

He looked at her, thought: "What a dilly!"
He touched her once; she slapped him silly.
This was somethin' he had never sensed.
He looked at her and she commenced:

"Now listen, pal; this ain't no fluke.
I can't see goin' with a big green kook."

You've heard about the Jolly Green Giant. (Eggplant!)
Don't let his troubles cross your mind. (Celery stalks!)
He couldn't get Sally, so he went back to his valley.
The cat was colorblind.

Doot-doot [etc.] (Carrots!)
Doot-doot [etc.] (and beans!)
Doot-doot [etc.]