Better Than You by Amos
(Tune: A Few of My Favorite Things)

I can sing folk songs in roughly right rhythm
I can take insults, and know how to give 'em
I can choose Riesling, from 19-ought-two,
All of this makes me much better than you!

I can pick Dylan tunes even while napping
Remember old folk-songs with no verses flapping
Write lines in pentameter, green grass or blue,
All of which makes me much better than you!

When the threads cross,
When the trolls flame,
When the Mudcat's screwed...
I simply remember I'm better than you,
And then I don't feel so blue!

I can remember the words to Loch Lomond
I can recite all of "Down in the Gloaming"
Cowboy and roustabout, madrigal, blues
I do them all, so much better than you!

I can come up with quatrains round and pretty
Answer attacks with deflection so witty
Speak out so openly, humble and true;
Surely this must make me better than you!

I have a banjo, a mandolin, zither
My wife has left me, but still I don't mith her
I have a Martin, a D-22!
This surely proves I am better than you!

Still I wonder,
From high places,
How it feels to fall,
I notice that 'tho I am better than most,
I don't get much mail
At all!

Dadadeedadadadeedeedadeeda.....

Ching Kaching kachung.....