Another variation on the theme. Sheet music can be seen at Mississippi State University:


I DON'T KNOW WHO WROTE "HOME, SWEET HOME" BUT HE MUST HAVE BEEN A SINGLE MAN^[1]
I DON'T KNOW WHO WROTE "HOME, SWEET HOME" BUT I BET HE WAS A SINGLE MAN^[2]
Words and music by Clare Kummer, ©1908.

1. I'm married to a girl in town.
She's got the whole thing written down:
"Wilson Jones to Mandy Brown, the thirteenth day of June."
She made me get a Harlem flat,
And that's where we are living at,
An' if I am not always there, I'll come, not yet, but soon!
She's got a motto on the wall,
Says, "Wilson's Home Sweet Home," that's all!

CHORUS: Oh, I don't know who wrote "Home Sweet Home" but I bet he was a single man!
An' he never had a loving wife for to hit him with a frying pan!
This "Home Sweet Home" is an awful shine!
If anybody wants one, they can just take mine!
Oh, I don't know who wrote "Home, Sweet Home" but I bet he was a single man!

2. When I first fell for Mandy's charms,
When I first held her in my arms,
She says, "Is dis dat Love's first kiss, or has you loved befo'?"
I answers Mandy, I says, "No!
Those other girls was all too slow.
Not one of them was kind to me." But now, alas, I know!
They ev'ry one was kind, I see,
Because they never married me!

CHORUS: Oh, I don't know who wrote "Home Sweet Home" but there was no wedding bells in his!
If he's married, soon he'll change his tune, and as for me, I hope he is!
This "Home Sweet Home" is an awful bluff!
If anybody axes me, I've had enough!
Oh, I don't know who wrote "Home, Sweet Home" but I bet he was a single man!

3. Before I married, I had dreams,
How Mandy'd greet me with a kiss,
But when I come, the baby screams, an' Mandy looks like this!
An' since she joined the Woman's Club,
I even has to chase my grub.
I feel just like a great big dub when I sing the baby this:
"Home Sweet Home" is a grand old place,
The baby laughs right in my face.

CHORUS: Oh, I don't know who wrote "Home Sweet Home" but he must have had it in for me.
For 'twas hearing 'bout the charms of "Home" that got me going, don't you see?
Oh, "Home Sweet Home" may be all right,
When every other place is closed up tight!
Oh, I don't know who wrote "Home Sweet Home" but I bet he was a single man.

4. Oh, Mandy reads the "Women's Page"
An' then she gabs my weekly wage
An' that's her last only any stage, till every cent is gone.
Before I married, goodness knows,
I needed buttons on my clothes
Well, now I have the buttons, but no clothes to sew them on!
{I'm wearing holes instead of socks,
While Mandy sports those Empire frocks} OR
{I'm wearing holes instead of shirts,
While Mandy sports those new sheath skirts.}

CHORUS: Oh, I don't know who wrote "Home Sweet Home" but I bet he was a single man,
An' he never had a wife like mine, or he would have been an "also ran,"
To me it is one sad refrain.
No wonder someone says the feller's name was "Payne,"
Oh, I don't know who wrote "Home Sweet Home" but I bet he was a single man.

5. Oh, Mandy goes an' get "Three Weeks"
An' for three days she never speaks,
An' then, one night, oh, what a sight! As I come in the door,
For everything is changed about
The furniture is all moved out
An' Mandy on a tiger skin is stretched out on the floor
An when I ax her what it meant,
She says, "Has you no temperament?"

CHORUS: Oh, I don't know who wrote "Home Sweet Home" but I know he made a lot of trouble.
If it hadn't been for that same "pome," I'd be single now instead of double.
Oh, Mand says to me, says she,
"It's plain dat you ain't my affinity!"
Oh, I don't know who wrote "Home Sweet Home" but I bet he was a single man.

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1. Title as given on the sheet music cover.
2. Title as given on the first page of the sheet music.