There's a live performance on YouTube. I assume Eric Idle wrote it:


FUCK CHRISTMAS
As sung by Eric Idle

Fuck Christmas; it's a waste of fucking time.
Fuck Santa; he's just out to get your dime.
Fuck holly and fuck ivy and fuck all that mistletoe,
Stupid fucking Christmas songs everywhere you go,
And bloated big fat bastards all going "Ho-ho-ho."
It's fucking Christmas time again.

Fuck Christmas; it's a fucking Disney show.
Fuck turkey, and fuck all that fucking snow.
Fuck reindeer and fuck Rudolph with his stupid fucking nose,
Fucking sleigh bells ringing everywhere you fucking goes.
Fuck stockings and fuck shopping; it just drives us all insane.
Go tell the elves to fuck themselves; it's Christmas time again.