Ahem. Following your last comments, Santa has instructed me to contact you to inform you that Rudolph will not now be on the delivery team for your package. You may well have intended the unfortunate comment facetiously (Santa informs me this is a well-known feature of your personality) but we cannot have our reindeer at the mercy of any form of ballistic weapon or at risk of being consumed for a festive meal. I'm sure you understand. We have instead consigned your package to the more conventional mail delivery companies, at some expense, and we will just have to hope that it will arrive in time. We also hope that you do not normally attempt to shoot down the mail person, and that you are not given to cannibalism. As you will be well aware, if news reaches us that you have indeed shot at the mail person, or indeed attempted to eat him or her, the contents of your package will instantly metamorphose into coal dust (Rudolph has suggested a modification in your case, to make it reindeer dung, but Santa did not approve this).
It does in any case mean we have no further need of our very large road atlas for Idaho, which is a great weight off the sleigh.

Happy Holidays!
The Admin Elf