John Kirkpatrick recorded this on his album "Tunes from the Trenches" (2015). He medleys it with "Sister Susie's Sewing Shirts for Soldiers." The sheet music can be seen at Indiana University:


WOULD YOU RATHER BE A COLONEL WITH AN EAGLE ON YOUR SHOULDER
OR A PRIVATE WITH A CHICKEN ON YOUR KNEE?
Words, Sidney D. Mitchell; music Archie Gottler, ©1918.
"Successfully sung by Eddie Cantor in Ziegfields Follies"

1. Once I heard a father ask his soldier son,
"Why can't you advance like other boys have done?
You've been a private mighty long.
Won't you tell me what is wrong?"
And then the soldier lad
Said, "Listen to me, Dad."

CHORUS 1: I'd rather be a private than a colonel in the army,
A private has more fun
When his day's work is done,
And when he goes on hikes
In ev'ry town he strikes,
Girls discover him, and just smother him with things he likes,
But girlies act so shy when colonel passes by,
He holds his head so high with dignity.
So would you rather be a colonel with an eagle on your shoulder
Or a private with a chicken on your knee?

2. "Ev'ry night you find some private in the park,
Spooning on a bench where it is nice and dark.
He's just as happy as can be,
With his girlie on his knee,
But the colonel never dares
To mix in such affairs."

CHORUS 2: I'd rather be a private than a colonel in the army,
A colonel out in France
Can never take a chance,
For though his job is great,
He dare not make a date.
All that he can do is just "Parley Voo" then hesitate;
But privates meet the Ma and then they treat the Pa,
And then they "Oo-la-la" with "Wee Marie."
So would you rather be a colonel with an eagle on your shoulder
Or a private with a chicken on your knee?