Or there's this, from the late, lamented Monty Parkin:

SEX AIDS FROM AMSTERDAM

When it's spring again I'll bring again
Sex aids from Amsterdam
Tulips just won't do, I'll bring to you
Sex aids from Amsterdam.
I can't wait until the day I fill
these empty arms of mine,
Like the windmill keeps gyrating,
so the coach will be vibrating
From the suitcase where I cram
All these sex aids from Amsterdam

When it's spring again I'll bring again
Sex aids from Amsterdam,
Once I've done the view I'll buy some new
Sex aids from Amsterdam.
I can't wait until I pay the bill
and fill up these bags of mine,
Like the windmill keeps on whirling,
that's how your toes will be curling,
When I stand there spreading jam
on a sex aid from Amsterdam.

When it's spring again I'll bring again
Sex aids from Amsterdam,
From my bargain break, back home I'll take
Sex aids from Amsterdam.
I can't wait until I try the drill
with these new toys of mine,
Like the windmill keeps revolving
all our problems I'll be solving,
It looks fun in the diagram,
with these sex aids from Amsterdam.

This one weighs a kilogram,
It's a sex aid from Amsterdam.
I'll bring sex aids from Amsterdam.