Got badly told off by Stu on his "alternative doodah" thread for talking about what he didn't think his thread was about, and gillymor therein enjoined me to "start my own Trump thread." Thus chided, I've decided to comply. So, in line with Stu's strictures in his thread, here are my rules for this thread. There are no rules. This thread is about Trump, but I, the thread owner, policeman and dictator of this thread, will be severely pissed off should ANYONE (yes, this means you, Jim, Raggytash, Dave, and anyone else lusting to be a member of the elite section of tbe Usual Suspects) stick to the subject. Only thread drift will be tolerated. I'm going to start off with the Final Word on Trump, then I shall drift this thread.

Final word on Trump: he's a twat.

Now the weather in Bude is very mild at the moment. I've been revelling in the joy of the multitudinous visitors to my bird table. But I have a major problem. A spectacular male pheasant, who we've named Phil, has been a regular guest for weeks. Almost a pet pheasant, he doesn't run away when I open the back door. In fact, he will nibble my nuts right up to my feet. Peanuts, duh. The problem is that he has commandeered our back door step as his lavatorium. We are inadvertently treading pheasant shit everywhere. I know we could lays eat Phil. But does anyone have a more humane solution?