Steve, I briefly had a rather drunken specimen of a Scottish boyfriend at Edinburgh Uni, and he used to haunt the Union Bar, dragging me along with him. (It was open to females too) I could only manage a half of McEwan's Heavy, but he could drink to Olympic standards. The lads in there sang all the rugby songs and I'd sit there delighted. The songs I dimly remember were:- some thing about an Eskimo called Nell, a chap with large...er...testicles apparently twice as heavy as lead with which he could perform unlikely feats, a lady called Liza who was entreated to show her legs, and someone standing on a bridge at midnight doing rather strange things to their crutch. It was this Scottish chap who took me to the Rangers - Celtic match.

I suppose nowadays one would have to sing about Inuit Nell. Doesn't have the same ring about it does it?