I found this recording on Spotify. I have boldfaced the words that are different from the version I posted earlier.


BIG CHESTED WOMAN
Words and music by Chuck Ramey (Charles R. Ramey), ©1971.
As recorded by Joe Keene on his album "Merely Foolish" (2012—originally released as a single, 1979).

[VERSE 1] Oh, the harvestin' was over.
The alfalfa and the clover
And the timothy was curin' in the mow.
We cleaned out the barn and spread it,
And we got some lime on credit,
And we plowed it in and put away the plow.
Then Pa said, "Son, I can't afford it,
But you ought to be rewarded,
So here's fifty bucks to go to Evansville."
So right there I made my mind up,
And I got my shoes all shined up,
Then I grabbed my hat and I said: "By Ned, I will!"

[CHORUS 1] I'll meet some great big-chested woman,
And to prove that I've got nothin' up my sleeve,
I'll love that great big-chested woman,
And I'll make that gal my wife before I leave.

[VERSE 2] Well, I seen the Coliseum,
And I seen the new museum,
And I took in all the nightclubs one by one.
I learned to dance the mashed pertaters
And went to three or four theayters
And I rode some elevators just for fun.
Then I went to see the flickers,
And I drank some fancy liquors,
Had a barbecue, a fiddler, and a beer,
But I dern-near tripped a wicket
When I went to pay my ticket,
And I got a look at that there young cashier.

[CHORUS 2] She was a great big-chested woman,
I could hear my self a-sayin', "I love you."
I kissed that great big-chested woman,
And I married her before the week was through.

[VERSE 3] Wedding night at seven-thirty,
We checked in at the McCurdy,
And I took a room up on the seventh floor.
I went down for sody-water
And when I got back I thought I
Must have opened up somebody else's door.
She was layin' in her nightie,
And I tell you friends, I mighty
Nearly dropped my sody-water then and there,
For above her solar plexus,
She was flat as central Texas
And her great big chest was hangin' on the chair.

[CHORUS 3] Beware of great big-chested women.
They are padded with intentions to deceive.
If you like great big-chested women,
Just remember that to see is to believe.


The publisher of this song is Joe Keene Music Co., and Ramey also wrote some other songs that Keene recorded: "Beagle Hound," and "There's a Rope behind the Door," so I think it's likely that this is the original recording.

By the way, Evansville, Indiana did indeed have a McCurdy Hotel, but it was converted to a retirement home/nursing facility in 1970. It also has a Coliseum. The "mashed potato" dance step was popular in 1962.