BILLY TURNBULL'S ADVENTORS AT THE GRAND REGRETTA THAT WES HELD (AUG. 1863)
THE SYEM WEEK THE BRITISH ASSOCIASHUNOV WISE FOAKS VISITED NEWCASSEL.

IT wes a splendid seet-when aw sat like a king at the heed 0' the King's Meadows amang a living mass
0' live foaks-me heart lowpt wiv excitement inside me new waistkit-but a' passin clood put us i' mind
0' the umberella that aw had borrow'd frae Bob Robson the time-gun boom'd throo the air, an' shoots
frae the stentorian lungs 0' the multitude drew me atfenshun te the noble forms 0' the champeins as
they war seen imbarkin, wi' the most magnanymus anniemosity rewards each uther, te dare the dangers
0' the tretcherous deep-it wes high tide, ye knaw-thor off!-thor cummin ! -thor wes a roar 0' voices an'
the river Sim-an' -Teasdale- Wilsonusly-aw ron up the Meadows wi' speed like JimPercy-aw's not
as lang as Ted Mills, but aw felt aw turned WHITE for all aw's a Bright-un-Chambors! aw shoots-aw
luckt at the men, heedless where aw wes runnin te, when all iv a suddint aw fell ower the Meadows-
it wes a momentus moment for me-aw struggled te get ashore-fearful retlecshuns struck us when aw
rickollected that aw nivvor had got ony lessons frae Professor Walker-for aw cuddent swim withoot
it wes doonwards-foaks say droonin men catch at straws, but thor wes ne straws, so aw clutched the
grass i' me desperayshun-me hand slipt-pairt 0' the grass wes clay-aw fell doon agyen, leets danced
afore me eyes, fearful noises rung i' me ears-nebody can imadgin the aw-ful sensayshun aw felt when
maw editorial heed wes under wetter-aw cud neither float or swim-so aw lay doon at the
'bottom till it wes law tide so as aw cud 'wawk oot!-aw dinnet knaw hoo aw got hyem-aw cuddent
reckollect owt mair-for aw've been insensible ivor since.-Yor Unlucky Frind,

-BILLY TURN-BULL.

-Source: Joe Wilson, (author) Songs and Drolleries, 1890