THE DOUBLE EVENT! TEUN- "A Nice Young Man." DICK wes a chep that stuck at nowt, If it wad only pay; He got an agent's job for beer, An' myed brass i' that way. He liked te swagger throo the toon, An' call at ivry bar; An' he seun got celebrated As a trav'ler near an far. He quickly myed a roarin trade, An' drove his gig quite smart; He wad seun be independent Wi' myekin such a start : At least he thowt se; so he'd try Te myek his profits mair : He'd hev a hand in sumthing else, What at he diddent care. But startin bissniss for he'sel Stuck firmly in his mind; He'd try a one that waddent fail The undertakin kind. An' so he did: he teuk a shop Built in a weel-knawn street, Exposin i' the windows there New coffins te yor seet. Ay, coffins! bonny handled, tee, An' breest-plates, met yor view; Ye cud stand an' calculate yor fit An' this is really true. He'd sell his beer te customers, An' when thor life wes spent, He'd coffins ready, gud an' cheap, Wi' joiners kindly sent. Thor's sum men hes a narve for owt, If munny they can make; Thor not porticklor what it is, If it 'ill only take. Te think a man shud deal i' beer, An' deal i' coffins, tee, Might shock the strangest vulgor mind; But it's a fact, ye see! Dick's frinds an'.foes wes a' surprised, They thowt he'd seun repent; An' for a lark they chris'end him "The Double Greet Event! " But Dick gets on-the Deevil's frind, His smile it's always grim; He knaws when he cums tiv his bier, A coffin waits for him. The above can also be used as a Recitation. -Source: Joe Wilson, (author) Songs and Drolleries, 1890
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