A VARRY HARD BED! TEUN- "The Laird 0' Cockpen." HE wes lyin asleep i' the broad day-leer, Stritch'd oat his full length i' the wide open street; The curb-stone his pillow, quite helpless wes Ned, Unconscious he lay on a varry hard bed. Sumtimes he wad grummil at foaks passin by, Then he'd give a greet snore, an' heave a greet sigh; Not dreamin that cairts on his toes might hev tred, He lay there se drunk on his varry hard bed. A crood gether'd roond, an' the pollis perplext, Cud dent waken him up, so they got varry vext; For a stritcher one off te the station-hoose sped, Then they carried him off tiv anuther hard bed. He slept a' 'the neet, but next mornin, se sair, He waken'd, an' started te find he'sel there; He luckt roond aboot him, says he, "Aw's misled, For if this is maw hoose it's a different bed! " "Whativer on orth's browt us here?" ·then he said, "Aw diddent cum here be me-sel, aw's aflaid ; Aw'd slept just as weel in abroken-doon shed, Me byens may weel ake on this hard-hearted bed! " But the pollis com In, an' it open'd his eyes, When the magistrates spoke he luckt up wi' surprise; Says they, "Ye've had lodgins since hereye war led:" Says he, "But ye gov us an awful hard bed I' It cost him ten shillins,-he myed his way hyem, Wi' heed-ake, an' heart-ake, an' byens just the syem ; Says he, "Ne mair fuddlin, such nonsense is fled, Aw've cum te maw senses upon that hard bed!" The above can also be used as a Recitation. -Source: Joe Wilson, (author) Songs and Drolleries, 1890
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