No cat in your household, Acme? And the dogs don't bother with rodents? That's a pity.

We are enduring our annual Spring ant invasion, with pismires everywhere we look. The cats hunt them relentlessly, with frankly funny results because ants apparently taste awful. But the cats can't resist; where there is unaccustomed movement, they pursue and pounce.

The movers' estimate is in. The nice young lady included everything except the traditional elephant: the 144 sections of terracotta drainage pipe that we use for wine storage. Now she's checking to be sure that the government guidelines permit the transport of 144 sections of terracotta drainage pipe. I have the distinct impression that Westmount Moving and Storage would much rather not have anything to do with packing 144 sections of terracotta drainage pipe, moving them all the way to Stratford, and unpacking them at the destination.

The siding company that took on the job of repairing the damage to the façade -- actually, two guys from Cape Breton who both play guitar and mandolin -- are due on Friday, weather permitting.

We have a plan -- such as it is -- for moving the cats, but it will be zero fun for everyone. Once the furniture is delivered in Stratford, we will saddle up and drive back to Ottawa to fetch the cats, who will spend the week of actual packing, moving and unpacking at a spa in the country (no, I'm not kidding). We will pick up the cats at 0900, drive directly to the vet's office where the good Dr. Fattah will sedate our predatory friends to their cute little eyeballs, and then hit the long, long road back to Stratford, hoping they sleep the whole way. Stops will be minimal, so we can pee by turns and buy sandwiches to eat in the car, never leaving the vehicle and its slumbering cargo unattended.

I'm really not looking forward to the part where they discover that half the new house has broadloom carpet. Thank God we are planning to get rid of it, because for sure it will be pissed on.