This song is performed in call-and-response style, like a sea chantey:


I HAVE A DOG HIS NAME IS ROVER
As recorded by Ivor Biggun on "The Fruity Bits of Ivor Biggun" (2000).

I have a dog; his name is Rover.
Oh, my goodness!
I have a dog; his name is Rover.
Ee, by gum!
I have a dog; his name is Rover.
When he shits, he shits all over.
Shit all round the room, me boys, shit all round the room.

[Similarly, with the same responses:]

I have a dog; his name is Fritz.
He shits and shits and shits and shits.

I have a dog, a big Great Dane.
He wipes his bum and he pulls the chain.

[The album "Handling Swollen Goods" (2005) contains these additional verses:]

I have a dog; he's as big as that.
He got diarrhea and he buried the cat.

I have a dog with a triangular rectum.
Toblerones shoot out when you least expect 'em.

I have a fucking great big Rottweiler; his name is Jim,
And where he shits is entirely up to him.

I have a little Chihuahua; his name is Cliff.
His turds are small but they don't half niff.

I have a dog; his name is Solzhenitsyn.
And mine is the house Solzhenitsyn shits in.