I've been meaning to add this for some time, then found out today that there's a Dr Demento parody with the same title. Mine takes a different approach:

Libyan On A Jet Plane

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go,
I'm standing here at check-out four,
And Easyjet are just about to fly,
But the pilot’s nervous, he’s in a sweat,
I don’t think I’ll be boarding yet,
Already I’m a problem, and here’s why:
Security has come for me, all around surrounding me,
They hold me like they’ll never let me go.
’Cos I'm a Libyan on a jet plane, just trying to go home again.
I wish they’d let me go.
There's so many times I've caught this flight,
So many times, it’s all gone right,
I'll tell you that don't matter in the least,
I’ve told them that I live in Kent,
I pay my taxes, pay my rent,
But my passport shows I’m from the Middle East,
So ‘phone up my brief for me, tell him that they’re holding me,
They look as though they’ll never let me go.
I'm a Libyan on a jet plane, just trying to go home again.
I wish they’d let me go.
They’ve searched my bags and searched my shoes,
They’ve found no Semtex, found no fuse,
Any moment I’ll be in the skies,
But then I’m dragged behind a screen,
For rubber gloves and Vaseline,
And yes, it does bring tears into your eyes,
So hold up the flight for me, ’cos I’m walking with some difficulty,
Please let me stand up till we reach Heathrow,
‘Cos I’m a Libyan on a jet plane, feeling lots of rectal pain,
A Libyan on a jet plane, just trying to go home again,
I wish they’d let me go……..