My wife says that the brains of people who don't like dogs have a major wiring fault.

Spoken with the true, evangelical, self-centered, hubristic bombast of the typical dog-worshiper.

I don't want other people's squalling, snotty brats, ... I'm obliged to tolerate them.

You seem to be missing at least one salient point - the "brats" are HUMANS ---- and the dogs are ANIMALS.

And why should I not be able to eat and drink with my dog lying quietly under my table disturbing nobody.

Possibly because: 1. human rights take precedence over the "rights" of animals (animals have no "rights", per se) 2. because you might want to consider the comfort, health and feelings of persons other than yourself?

And before you take off on your "phobic" spiel, I have owned dogs, I have owned cats - for that matter I've owned horses and goats. I wouldn't consider bringing any of the four into a pub or restaurant. And yes, I have cleaned up horseshit deposited on property not my own.

Me & my dog first & devil take the hindmost. The way backwards.

But I suppose it could be worse - you could be campaigning on behalf of pet monkeys.