DUMMY LINE (consolidation and revision) Across the prairie in a streak of rust Something’s moving in a cloud of dust Pulls out of the station with a wheeze and a whine It’s the 2 o’clock flyer on the Dummy Dummy Line CHORUS: On the Dummy Line, the Dummy Line Rise and shine on the Dummy Dummy Line Rain or shine you’ll pay your fine When you ride on the Dummy on the Dummy Dummy Line I said to the conductor, “Won’t you speed up a bit?” He says, “You can jump off if you don’t like it.” Says I, “Old man, I’d take your dare...” “But the folks don’t expect me ‘til the train gets there.” CHORUS Little Willy got on the Dummy and he didn’t have his fare The conductor hollered, “HEY! Whatcha doin’ there!?” Willy got up and rushed toward the door But he got cracked on the head with a two-by-four CHORUS Little Willy’s fate has taken some blows He met the evil eye and he cut off his own nose He tried to slap it back on, but it’s upside down Now every time it drizzles Willy almost drowns CHORUS Little Willy was home by himself Found a chocolate cake on the kitchen shelf He thought he was lucky to eat the cake But the cake was poisoned and now it’s too late CHORUS Little Willy saw a mill saw buzz Didn’t quite know what it was He grabbed the saw, but it was playing tricks And now poor Willy has been cut in six CHORUS Little Willy found some dynamite But the label he couldn’t read, quite He grabbed a few sticks, tossed them in a blaze His poor ashes have been raining down for several days CHORUS Little Willy’s been burned to ashes Maybe we all need some glasses By and by the site got chilly But no one cared to stir up Willy CHORUS Little Willy came home from school Spied a half dollar at the foot of a mule Stooped down to pick it up, quiet as a mouse Funeral tomorrow at Little Willy’s house CHORUS Little Willy had a knack For going camping on the railroad tracks Midnight express came round the bend What kind of flowers did you send? CHORUS Little Willy fell down the elevator There they found him six months later They held their noses and said, “Gee whiz!” “What a spoiled child our Little Willy is!” CHORUS Little Willy standing on the window sill Thought he would go to war at Bunker Hill The battle was hot, but this I’ll vow It’s a darn sight hotter where Willy is now CHORUS Little Willy, what the heck? He fell down the well and broke his neck His voice called out, but he was on his own Nobody found him and he died alone CHORUS Little Willy went hunting to give a scare But he was chased down by a grizzly bear The people all thought he was out of his mind When the bear ate his brains and left the rest behind CHORUS There was an old lady by the name of Nan Who tried to pass as the Good Humor man Couldn’t fool the kids; they all stayed home Except Willy, who bought an ice cream cone CHORUS Little Willy was from Mobile Now he’s got a face like a lemon peel He has a wart on the end of his chin He says it is a dimple, but a dimple turns in CHORUS I asked an old man about a hundred years old How long he’d been working on this old railroad He looks at me and he tells me, “Son...” “I was Little Willy on the train’s last run.” CHORUS
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