UNDERWEAR - Barry Louis Polisar
As recorded by Barry Louis Polisar on "Off-Color Songs for Kids" (1983)

CHORUS: Underwear is everywhere but mostly underneath.
Usually, you can't see what goes on beneath
Ragged clothes or evening gowns or the finest three-piece suit.
Underwear is everywhere; there is no substitute.

Everyone is equal when it comes to underwear,
Because beneath your underwear it's just yourself that's there.
Everyone wears underwear -- or at least they should.
Underwear is lots of things, but mostly it is good. CHORUS

Some like the feel of cotton. I share this belief.
Likewise, I don't like boxer shorts; give me a pair of briefs.
Some don't like to talk about it; that's because they're shy.
People laugh at underwear, but I do not know why. CHORUS

"Now don't use bleach on underwear." That's what my mom will say.
"Cause bleach will eat the fabric and soon they'll wash away."
Underwear with lots of holes is a sorry sight,
Look around and try to see who's wearing theirs too tight! CHORUS TWICE