If they use the scythe on me, would I then be dead but irreplaceable? Would that make me eligible to be on a commemorative postage stamp? Or do I, like other ex-USPS employees, just got and become post-humus?

Remember, December 30th is cutting it close, even with a scythe, so be quick about it, or like so many other old folks in white robes towith curved blades who have tried before, some little well taught tot with a taut hold on the future will kick your ads all the way from here to sickle-acle year end obscurity.

Furthermore, I am protected from all scythes and sickies by Popsicles, the Greek God of Winter.

I should he is dead five times over, but I must be tougher than the proverbial two dollar steak.

It would be better to just shower me with appropriate gifts and declare a State Holiday, instead.

Jennie G can get in line behind all of the other female "Carry-A-Torchers" I've left in my wake or their sleep.....

I'll expect your wrapped attention on the 30th.