Sorcha, after my sisterdid this, I was in a t group for people who had lost someone this way, led by someone who had lost her daughter this way, so we were all equals, except in length of time from the tragedy. We were assured that it is OK to take YEARS to grieve, and if anyone gives you grief over that, THEY are the ones who don't understand the recovery curve. It takes as long as it takes. Being in a group of people talking out all of the above: grief, anger, guilt, depression was of inestimable value. (and since it was through church, led by a fellow member, it also happened to be free, but you can't count on that.)