And here are the words for my UK vs US English parody of "My Favorite Things", as a number of people seemed interested. (I've posted it in a Mudcat thread before now, but I've revised it since then, so might as well share the updated version.) Below the lyrics, I've added a glossary, for those who may not be familiar with all the terms. Don’t Know the Words... (for My FavoUrite Things) TTO: Rodger & Hammerstein’s My Favorite Things New words: Vikki Appleton Fielden Jelly is jam here, and jello is jelly The car has a boot and my foot wears a wellie Mention “sultanas”, I think "Eastern Kings" Don’t know the words for my favourite things Summat is not where you go when you’re climbing Jumper is not someone into sky diving Bob is Your uncle, the Beeb is your aunt Don’t know the words to explain what I want If my languish causes anguish; if you think me sad Oh, won’t you remember I’m just a poor Yank, and that’s why I talk... so bad Beer’s sold by landlords instead of bartenders Don’t tell the clerk that your man needs suspenders Braces are not always worn on your teeth Rubber is nothing to do with a sheath I stand in line; over here it’s called queueing Lines are engaged but they never need wooing You stop while five while I stay until four Knob isn’t always a thing on a door If I speak, luv, like a freak, luv; if you think me mad Oh, won’t you remember I’m just a poor Yank, and that’s why I talk... so bad Biscuits are sweet but a tart can be racy, a Nice bit o’ crumpet might wear something lacy Crackers are not always eaten with cheese Folks don’t wear flannels but you can wear fleece Chips come with haddock; and crisps in a packet Soccer is football and baseball’s not cricket Stockings have ladders and Cricket has runs Baps is the word for my favourite buns If you’re thinkin’ I’ve been drinkin’; if I seem a cad Oh, won’t you remember I’m just a poor Yank, and that’s why I talk... so bad Two pints of bitter was not a bad notion Held up two fingers and caused a commotion I didn’t quack but you called me a duck Muffler’s not something to quiet a truck You call me luv; I don’t know who you are, pet But when I say shag, ducks, I only mean carpet Met a cute bloke at the Anchor & Bull Kept my hands off him but he said I pulled I get confused but I can’t ask my granny My knickers are knackered and show off my f...reckles You can go barking though you’re not a dog, Everyone goes to the loo in a swamp... (um, bog!) If my diction causes friction; if I’m misconstrued Oh, won’t you remember I’m just a poor Yank, and that’s why I talk... so rude! =========== GLOSSARY UK/Yorkshire word – US word ------------------------------------ jelly – Jello jam – jelly preserves – jam boot – (car) trunk wellie (short for Wellington) – boot sultana – raisin (sort of: raisins and a sultanas are produced from the same grape but a raisin is dried naturally, and a sultana is dipped in veg oil and acid and then dried.) summat – something (I think it's a corruption of somewhat) jumper – sweater Bob's your uncle – you're all set/in good shape Auntie Beeb – the BBC landlord – pub owner suspenders – garter braces – suspenders rubber – condom queue – line line – telephone line engaged – busy stop – stay while – until knob – dick biscuit – cookie tart – loose woman nice bit of crumpet – very attractive woman (usually young) cracker – very attractive woman flannel – washcloth fleece – warm jacket (often woolen) chips – french fries crisps – potato chips football – soccer ladder – run (as in stocking) steps – ladder baps – bread rolls holding up two fingers is like flipping the bird to someone – rudest possible gesture (but it's ok if you do it like a peace sign). meduck/ducks – dearie muffler – scarf silencer – muffler luv – darlin' pet – dear shag – have sex with pulled – successfully picked up/scored knickers – undies pants – underpants knackered – worn out fanny – pussy (as in woman's "front bottom") barking – mad bog – bathroom (Brits think we're rather silly to call it a bathroom, especially if there's not even a bath in it)
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