I HUGGED MY MATE
(Andrew London)

Well I’m a kiwi through and through
I’m an All Black follower just like you
and I grew up watching Pine Tree on TV

He’d score a try between the posts
and trot on back with the other blokes
with no display of joyfulness or glee

and I was brought up similarly
we don’t emote spontaneously
and we try to avoid displaying affection publicly

but something happened the other night
that I’d like to share with the group tonight
that signifies a strange anomaly

I was having a beer with a mate, you see
or a shandy it might have been actually
and he told me things were grim as they could be

He’d lost his job at the florist’s shop
and got pulled over by a traffic cop
who booked him on the spot for DIC

and his wife had run off with his kids
and shacked up with a friend of his
who was consequently behaving quite aloof and rather smug

well I don’t know what came over me
but just as we got up to leave
well, bugger me, I gave my mate a hug

You hugged a mate? I hugged a mate
You hugged a mate! I hugged a mate

By the time I realised what I’d done, it was just a bit too late
He was big and he was hairy, and he was understandably wary
and it was scary, but I hugged my mate

‘What’s that for?’ he said to me
and I mumbled about solidarity
and being there for your mates when times get tough

so he wandered off and I fretted a bit
but he seemed to soon get over it
and things got back to normal soon enough

but I was down the pub just after that
having a Pimms with another chap
on a Thursday when they do that excellent dill and salmon quiche

well he seemed distracted as we dined
so I said, ’What’s on your mind?’
he said he’d heard I’d hugged my mate, and what was it like?

well I said at first it was rather strange
and we both felt awkward at this rearrangement
of the traditional way that kiwi blokes behave

but I said that a moment of intimacy
had been enjoyed by my mate and me
and it might have been even nicer actually, had he shaved

and I said I thought we should be allowed
to show affection, even in a crowd
and not be afraid to let it out so everyone can tell

well he looked confused and a little sad
and told me how he missed his dad
well stone the crows, I hugged this bloke as well

You hugged a mate? I hugged me mate
You hugged a mate! I hugged another mate

By the time I realised what I’d done, it was just a bit too late
He was big and he was hairy, and he was understandably wary
and it was scary, but I hugged my mate

so we’ve all gotten used to it now
we seldom fret anymore about how
we show affection indiscriminately

and we get together, put the world to rights
on our weekly Downton Abbey nights
in the spa pool with a tall banana daiquiri

and as Dave and I drove home last week
from the ballet, I began to speak
about how sensitive and caring we renaissance chaps can be

and he agreed we certainly had progressed
said he rather liked the way I dressed
changed gear, and put his hand back on my knee

You hugged your mate? I hugged my mate
You hugged your mate! I hugged my mate

By the time I realised what I’d done, it was just a bit too late
He was big and he was hairy, and he was understandably wary
and it was scary, but I hugged my mate

Yeah, I was sensitive and caring and I hugged my mate
So get out there, you blokes, and hug your mate

Youtube clip

--Stewie.