PHONES OUT OF RANGE
(Dave Myers/Tune: 'Home, home on the range')

Oh give me a phone that will work when I roam
In the country when I need to ring
Where seldom is found any kind of a sound
You'd be better with tins on a string

Chorus
Phones, phones out of range
In the bush where the punters all pay
Where seldom is heard any kind of a word
And reception is cloudy all day

Chorus

How often at night where the heavens are bright
When I'm stranded by some lonely tree
Have I sat there amazed and asked as I gazed
Where the hell is that Telstra's 'Next G'

Chorus

Oh give me a land where the towers all stand
By the roadside wherever I go
Where seldom are seen any out-of-range screens
And my mobile is always aglow

Chorus

--Stewie.