LYR ADD: Manly Man Matty Groves by Leslie Fish (1993)

Oh, Matty Groves was a manly man, and a man among men was he.
He shacked up with Lord Arlen's wife on a Sunday morning spree.

Lord Arlen was a manly man, as ever voiced a curse.
He learned that Matty screwed his wife, and swore to screw him worse.

Matty Groves was a manly man, with balls to split his pants, sirs.
When caught in bed with Arlen's wife, he gave him snappy answers.

Lord Arlen had more balls than that, let Matty put his clothes on,
Gave him a sword and one free chance to lay a couple blows on.

But Matty had more balls than brains; he hit Lord Arlen square
Instead of taking out a leg and scamp'ring out of there.

Lord Arlen, he had mighty balls---but smaller than his head.
He took the cut, and counter-cut, and Matty wound up dead.

Now where was Arlen's wife through this? She stayed beneath the covers,
She watched the fight, and did her nails, while Arlen killed her lover.

She never thought to run and hide, nor did she make excuses,
She said the one thing guaranteed to make Arlen blow his fuses.

She got herself and Matty killed by being a stupid hen---
But what else but a brainless slut would go for Manly Men?