Dairy Cow's Lament. Though I've just given birth to a heifer, And of pride and of milk I am full, It is sad to relate that my lacteal state Was not brought about by a bull.. ----------- I've never been naughty - I swear it, In spite of the calves I have born. By Farmer Brown's tractor, I'm virgo intacto, I've not had a bull by the horn. ------------- How boring the farmyard and meadow, The cowshed seems dreary and grey, Since the one bit of fun in the year's dismal run_ Has by science been taken away. -------------- Now I know that the farm is a business, In which we must all pull our weight. But I'd pull and I'd pull for a nicely built bull, This phoney arrangement I hate. ------------------ Never let it be said that I'm jealous, That's something a cow shouldn't do. But those 'Land Army' tarts, who handle our parts, Still get theirs in the old fashioned way.
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