Not sure if this was posted before, but...

Chopped Liver (sung to Moon River)

Chopped liver... onions on the side,
My social life has dried
From you.

My friends shun me, they outrun me,
The smell of your breath is slow death,
Sad but true.

Your odor's... twice as bad as beer
And people who drink beer
Agree.

I know that your smell will not end,
Always I'll offend,
My halitosis friend,
Chopped liver...
And me.

And speaking of Stephen Sondheim (were we?), I can only remember a fragment of the MAD parody of Tonight that they called In Flight. This is the last part. Can anyone supply the rest?

In flight!
Those headwinds we are bucking
And soon I am upchucking,
Oh what a sorry sight!

I'm white with fright
From trying to hold down
Ev'ry bite,
In flight!