Nobody Coming to Hire Me
to the tune of Nobody Coming to Marry Me (a.k.a. "The Hedger & Ditcher Song")
New words ©Vikki Appleton Fielden (can't remember when I wrote this; maybe ten years ago...)

   My father's a graphic designer
   my mother does nothing but shop
   I'm brilliant at media studies
   But still I cannot get a job
        Oh dear, what shall become of me
        Oh dear, what shall I be
        There's nobody coming to hire me
        No-one to read my CV

   I took 27 A-levels
   I put them all on my CV
   That ought to be bloody impressive
   So what if I only passed three

   I thought if I went to the Uni
   and learned to sleep late and drink beer
   That's all I would need for to find me
   A well-paying, easy career

   Oh, must I die on the dole
   Oh dear, how shocking the thought
   There's nobody coming to hire me
   Surely it's not me own fault

   But even tho I lack employment
   And worked me poor fingers to bone
   At end of the story I'm laughin'
   Cos I'll never pay off me loan

Folkie verse:
   My father's a mandolin player
   my mother does nothing but sing
   I've got a degree in folk music
   So why does the phone never ring
        Oh dear, what shall become of us
        Why can't we make it big
        There's nobody coming to hire us
        No-one to give us a gig