Art Thieme mentioned this on 24 Apr 00. I listened to it on Spotify, and I believe these words are accurate:


THE MICROORGANISM
Words and music by Todd Menton
As recorded by Boiled in Lead on “Alloy,” 1998.

In April, when your barge sailed through,
I fell in love with you.
Alas, my paramour, alack!
A stranger to me till the test comes back.

CHORUS: Oh, the microorganism!
Oh, the microorganism!

Dive in the gene pool; down you swim,
Down to where the light grows dim.
Flail, little fishies; flail if you can,
But avoid the microorganism man.

Caffeine, sugar, THC
Is all the doctors are gonna find in me
When they do the autopsy.
The microorganism won't get me.

God is good and God is great.
God's a big invertebrate.
God made the river change its route,
But won't pull the microorganism out.

The cowslips bloom and the bluebells too.
Here's advice I'll give to you:
Rattle* your sword before you strike
And never kiss anyone you like.

- - -
* A text that I found online had “Sheath your sword,” which makes more sense in context, but “Rattle” is definitely what I heard on the recording.

Except for the modern vocabulary, the song has the feel of a traditional tune (and maybe it is). Boiled in Lead plays it with drums, electric guitars, a fiddle, and what I think is a keyboard simulating bagpipes.

Art said it was about HIV, but it seems to me it could be about syphilis or some other STD.