Joe F mentioned this on 06 Dec 13.
Copied from Mike Agranoff’s website (with format tweaked by me):


MY FAVORITE DISEASES
Sung by Mike Agranoff on his albums “Rocking the Boat” (cassette, 1987) and “Ain't Never Been Plugged” (CD, 2007)
Words: Mike Agranoff; music (except as noted): “My Favorite Things” by Richard Rodgers.

1. Smallpox and chicken pox, chronic bronchitis,
Syphilis and typhus and encephalitis,
Sinuses ravaged with coughing and sneezes,
These are a few of my favorite diseases.

2. Pains that are minor and pains that are chronic,
Hangnails and herpes and plagues most bubonic,
Swine flu that renders you weak in the kneeses,
These are a few of my favorite diseases.

BRIDGE 1: When my bowels run—and it comes from—Montezuma's curse,
I simply remember my favorite disease, and that makes me feel—much worse.

[Tune: “The Girl from Ipanema”]: Thin and wan and pale and wasted,
The girl with emphysema goes walking,
And when she passes, each breath she passes goes “Aaauuuuuggghhh!”

[Tune: “Yesterday”]: Leprosy,
All my skin is falling off of me.
I'm not half the man I used to be.

3. Cancer and hemorrhoids, tuberculosis.
Yaws and malaria, multiple sclerosis,
Chest pains that no simple remedy eases,
These are a few of my favorite diseases.

4. Gangrene and jaundice severe dermatitis,
Ulcers and gallstones and appendicitis,
Polio, whooping cough, colds, mumps, and measles,
These are a few of my favorite diseasles.

BRIDGE 2: When neuralgia—brings nostalgia—for those pains gone by,
I think of diseases I've yet to contract, and that makes me want—to die.