1) this one's told by the irish, i'd be guessing.

did ye hear the scots have found a new use for sheep?

sure an it's called wool.

2) an englishman, scotsman and irishman go into a pub and each order a pint. when they arrive, by some coincidence 3 flies land each in one pint. the englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders another. the scotsman fishes the fly out with his fingers and drinks the whole pint. the irishman pulls the fly out and angrily shakes it over the pint saying, 'spit it out, ye bugger!'

3) the irishman sees a sign advertising a special on venison, so he buys some and brings it home for the family meal. his two kids, timothy and patty are liking it but notice a different taste. 'what is this meat, dada?' they ask. not wanting to conjure up images of bambi, he tells them that it's delicious meat and to just eat it. 'no, da, tell us what it is!' 'well allright then, it's what your mother calls your ol' da, is what it is.' 'patty, spit it out! it's arsehole!' says timothy.

oh my...*g*

-caiti