My People! Today was the birthday of Our beloved consort. We shan't tell her age as that might cause her dismay, but We are approved to state that she is younger than the mountains. We had a very nice dejeuner at which some excellent wine was served. Certain louts who couldn't keep their voices down have been dealt with by Our guards and We doubt that they will again do such a thing. To celebrate this auspicious occasion We have determined that this day shall be tax exempt except for those in the Imperial oubliette, who shall have the taxes they may owe doubled unless it would cause hardship for their immediate family. We are just but merciful. Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex ® His Mark
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