... gives two recordings of the song online:
It also gives the lyrics at ...
If Mother Should Die
as recorded by The McCalmans, Smugglers (1975), track 2
I have no information on composer/lyricist
I am a young man and I live with my mother
A braw woman yet for her age
But just at the mentioning o' takin' a wife
Then she's sure to fly up in a rage
And what do you think I should do, good folks?
And what do you think I should try?
If mither should dei, there's naebody livin'
To mind the fowls and the kye
"Now gang awa, Ian, now gang tae the weddin'
Ye ken you're tae be the best man
And Betty McAffy, she's sure tae be there
So speak up to her there like a man" (which I am)
And what do you think I should do, good folks?
And what do you think I should try?
If mither should dei, there's naebody livin'
To mind the fowls and the kye
So I went to the bridal and Betty was there
And in truth her bosoms lookit large
But her face, a disgrace, camouflaged wi' lace
That would shame the backside o' a barge
And what do you think I should do, good folks?
And what do you think I should try?
If mither should dei, there's naebody livin'
To mind the fowls and the kye
No' to please my old mother and a wee bit for me
A proposal I thought I might try
So in talk I let drop, did she ever hear tell
That we had twa dozen o' kye
And what do you think I should do good folk?
For Betty turned round wi' a cry
If it came to a choice between you and your mither
I'll send for to marry the kye (okye)
And what do you think I should do, good folks?
And what do you think I should try?
If mither should dei, there's naebody livin'
To mind the fowls and the kye