My grandfather’s clock was too tall for the shelf
so us all tipped ‘en over on ees side
’Twas a useless old clock - never kicked and barely tocked
So the old bugger gave up and died

90 years without functioning
Sod the clock Stuff the clock
Us tried kicking and punching ‘Im
Sod the clock Stuff the clock
Us was just about to chuck the bugger out
When us come up with a new idea


After some years us all had a bright idea
And worked out exactly what to do
We stood the clock erect which we did effect
By boring a hole in the roof

It worked like a charm but unto our alarm
Fresh new problems began to unfold
Us all gazed at the base
‘cos of course the clock face
was up that hole

90….

This we noticed and so a reflector in the hole
We most scientifically inserted
Unfortunately, you all know as well as we
That the image would be laterally inverted


Whenever the time the was 25 to 9
it appears to be 25 past 4
And obviously, come 9 o’clock we thought ’twas 3
Us could take no more


90…

So the beds we took down from the bedroom to the lounge
and we carted the three piece upstairs
So us don’t go up to bed but us all goes up instead
and go up to sit down in the chairs





Mow according to our friends ’tis like living in Big Ben
but at least we always knew the time
But we very soon found ’twas equally as loud
When the old clock chimed


(a three piece was 2 chairs and a couch)