The following are my transcriptions of the above songs from the links provided. WILL YOU BE READY AT THE PLACE (WHEN JESUS THROWS THE BALL) Randy Brooks Life is just a baseball game and most folks play to win But you won't ever get to first if you're wallowing in sin You'll never make the team if you don't lead a Christian life If you've been making love, my friend, she'd better be your wife CHORUS Will you be ready at the plate when Jesus throws the ball? Will your life be an infield fly or a base-hit off the wall? No sinner's ever happy when he hears that umpire's call Will you be ready at the plate when Jesus throws the ball? Will you be in condition on the day you get the call Or have you broken training rules with drugs and alcohol If you can't play the game you will be sent down to the minors Where Satan is the manager and it ain't in North Caroline-r CHORUS [spoken freely] Hallelujah, brothers and sisters, did you always think the initials RBI stood for Roguish Body Inclinations? If someone mentioned the "Immortal Babe" did you think they were talking about Raquel Welch? And if I were to you right now and say Rollie Fingers I'd bet you'd think I meant a rash transmitted by means of petting, well, brothers and sisters, you're in trouble, and what you need is my pamphlet describing the road to salvation. It's entitled The Fall of the Roman Umpire, and special operators are standing by right now to take your call. The number is spelled out in chewing gum on the back of your stereos, and if you hurry up and call before midnight tomorrow night, we'll send you absolutely free an autographed photo of Billy Martin in the showers. All you have to do is send us three bills -- we don't care what currency, but we do ask in the interest of ecumenicalism that no two of the bills be of the same denomination. Your pamphlet will come to you wrapped in a red or a white sock, and for you health food fans, many parts of the pamphlet are edible. Now ask yourself this question: have your morals gone on strike? Do you direct foul language at the folks that you don't like? And would you rather steal than base your life on something fair? And do you stay at home, or go out swinging everywhere? CHORUS [spoken freely in lieu of last 8 words of chorus] Hallelujah, brothers and sisters, save your soul and sing along one time with me. CHORUS Will you be ready at the plate when Jesus throws the ball?
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