gillymor - :-D

Before we get too political though, a couple from Steve :-)

A bloke sees a blind man with a dog at the bus stop. Suddenly, the dog cocks its leg up and pees down the blind man's leg.

"Hey, mate, your dog's just peed on your leg!"

"Ah, thanks for telling me that." Upon which the blind man pulls a doggie treat out of his pocket and gives it to the dog.

"Hey, surely you're not rewarding the dog for peeing on you!"

"Nah. I'm just finding out which is its front end so that I can kick its arse..."

A woman is upstairs in bed with a bad leg. The doctor calls round and the husband shows him upstairs.

Five minutes later the doc comes down and asks if he can borrow a screwdriver. Ten minutes later he comes down again, asking for a saw and a pair of pliers this time.

The chap is frantic by now. "What's going on, doc? What are you doing up there? Is her leg worse than we thought?"

Sez the doc, "I haven't a clue, mate. I'm still trying to get my medical bag open..."