Tight as a drum, never been done, queen of all the fairies
Ain’t it a pity she’s only one titty to feed the baby on
Poor little fucker he’s only one sucker to knaw his teeth upon
All of a sudden a great big black pudding came flying through the air
It missed me brother and hit me mother and knocked her off her chair
Now this was me father’s opportunity to stick his oojah up ma’s dignity
First he tried the walking stick then he tried his hairy dick
Tralla tralla tralalalala

Can’t remember the rest of the words.

Sung as a ten year old growing up in the West Midlands in the 1940s