The Engineering Song
(To the tune of Battle Hymn of the Republic)

Chorus:
We are, we are, we are we are we are the Engineers,
We can, we can, we can, we can demolish 40 beers
Drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, drink rum and come along with us
For we don’t give a damn for any damn man who don’t give a damn for us.

Verses:

Godiva was a lady who through Coventry did ride
To Show all of the villagers her lovely bare white hide;
The most observant man on Earth, an Engineer of course,
Was the only man to notice that Godiva rode a horse!

She said, “I’ve come a long, long way, the man will go so far
Who takes me off this goddamn horse and leads me to a bar.”
The men who took her off the horse and stood her to a beer,
Were a bleary-eyed Surveyor and a drunken Engineer!

Rapunzel let her hair down for two suitors down below,
So one of them could grab a hold and give the old heave-ho
The prince began to climb at once, but soon came out the worst,
For the Engineer rode up a lift, and reached Rapunzel first

Caesar set out for Egypt at the age of fifty-three
But Cleopatra's blood was warm, her heart was young and free
And every night when Julius said good-night at three o'clock
A Roman Engineer was waiting just around the block!

Sir Francis Drake and all his ships set out for Calais Bay
They'd heard the Spanish rum fleet was headed out that way
But the Engineers had beat them, by a night and half a day,

And though they were so far away, you could still hear them say:
The Army and the Navy went out to have some fun
They went down to the taverns where the fiery liquors run
But all they found were empties for the Engineers had come
And traded all their instruments for gallon kegs of rum

An artsman and an Engineer once found a gallon can
Said the artsman, “Match me drink for drink, let's see if you're a man.”
They drank three drinks, the artsman fell, his face was turning green
But the Engineer drank on and said, “It's only gasoline!”

An Engineer once came to class so drunk and very late,
He was carrying a load that you’d expect to ship by freight.
The only things that held him up and kept on his course,
Were the boundary condition and the electromotive force!

Venus was a statue made entirely of stone
Without a stitch upon her she was naked as a bone
On seeing that she had no arms, an Engineer discoursed
“Why, the damn thing's only concrete, and should be reinforced!”

A maiden and an Engineer were sitting in the park
The Engineer was working on some research after dark
His scientific method was a marvel to observe
While his right hand held the figures, his left hand traced the curves

An Engineer from U of A went out and drank his fill.
And then came to a strip joint, 'cause he had some time to kill.
The motions that he witnessed there excited all his nerves,
And he filled eleven napkins with equations of the curves.

The fire hose by day and forty beers by night,
An engineer may never sleep and still be just as bright.
And should you ever ask him how he keeps up his routine,
he'll raise his trusty can of JOLT, smile and say “caffeine”

Late one night, an engineer was lost in work and toil,
He set off to find a darling girl to help discharge his coil
In no time at all he'd warmed her up, her resistance at a low...
They fluxed until the morning's light, when their fuses, they did blow.

A man sat in a tavern with a lovely Cambridge lass
And stared when for the nineteenth time she raised and drained her glass
he said “You've out drunk four strong men, and half the bar, my dear.”
but the maiden smiled demurely and said “I'm an engineer.”

I happened once upon a girl whose eyes were full of fire,
Her physical endowments would have made your hands perspire.
To my suprise she told me that she had never been kissed,
Her boyfriend was a tired Engineering Physicist.

My father peddles opium, my mother's on the dole
My sister used to walk the streets but now she's on parole
My brother runs a restaurant with bedrooms in the rear
But they don't even speak to me, 'cause I'm an Engineer

Fornication, Copulation, Penetration, Fuck
Rim job, reem job, nose job, blow job, cunnilingus, Suck
Eating beaver, dipping wick, taking it up the rear;
these words don't mean a thing to me cause I'm an engineer

An engineer and his girlfriend were lying on a bed
She reached down to unzip his fly so she could give him head
But when she wouldn't swallow, the engineer did shout
“How can you say you love me if you spit my children out!”

My father was a miner from the Northern Malamute
My mother was a mistress in a house of ill repute
They kicked me out at the age of 5 and never shed a tear
So I said to Hell with them and I joined the Engineers!

Now you’ve heard our story and you know we’re Engineers,
And like all jolly good fellows we drink our whisky clear
We drink to every fellow who comes from far and near
‘Cause we’re a HELL-OF-A, HELL-OF-A, HELL-OF-A, HELL-OF-A
HELL-OF-AN-ENGINEER!

c2004. Untitled MS-Word songbook from the website for the Mechanical
Engineering Club at the University of Alberta, Canada.


Retrieved Nov 7, 2007 from : www.mece.ualberta.ca/~mececlub/Song%20book.doc