Here's a great song I just came across, while nearing the end of my great housing songbook. Just the kind of place I'm sure you traveling people have run across in the Twilight Zone landscape of our modern age. Once again, I'm convinced reality is far more bizarre than anything we can imagine, even the fertile imagination of a Cathy Fink:

THE NO-TELL HOTEL
(Words and music by Cathy Fink © 1981 Recorded on Doggone My Time, Rooster 120)

CHORUS: At the No-Tell (No-Tell), Hotel (Hotel)
At the No-Tell (No-Tell), Hotel (two for ten dollars, three for twelve)
It's a motel (motel), not a hotel but a motel.
You'll find all the excitement that you like,
At the No-Tell Hotel tonight.

We've got a businessman's special every Monday night;
On Tuesday there's a deal on purple strobe lights;
Wednesday from noon to two,
Messages with Betty Lou;
Since Thursday is the maid's day off,
The room is free if you clean it yourself;
No obligation, you pay in advance;
You've got nothin' to lose but your pants. (CHORUS)

Now some folks say a hotel's not right,
To bring your date to stay the night;
For those folks we've got something new,
For an extra two dollars we'll monitor the view;
The newlyweds get the bridal suite,
With one less cockroach at their feet;
We've got something for everyone, if you like these kinds of things,
Drive in and give us a ring. (CHORUS)

On Friday we suggest you reserve in advance;
Saturday's special is a raffle-ticket chance
To win a free Sunday evening with Betty Lou
But the Hotel is extra when she's finished with you;
Flowers in the room and a bottle of wine,
A Greek sauna bath that works on a dime,
No obligation to return but we bet
You'll be back in a flash for the rest. (CHORUS)

There's one more service that we provide,
For the incognito customer who likes to hide;
Before you check in, use our courtesy phone
To dial a costume, dress like Al Capone;
You can rent them by the hour or by the day;
You can mix and match costumes and by the way
We've got blind dates in costumes or not;
Sign up on the line with the dots! (CHORUS)


Enjoy the song!