The origin of the name Britian ain't gonna answer the question but it explains to me at least what it is all about.

The word began as 'Pritani' - which I am certain some kind scholar of Cornish, Welsh or Britanish would further explain. The point is that people from the region including Ireland were so described long ever before any political union was formed. So being British is not something one chooses, rather it is how others may see one.

Dave the Gnome displays the peculiarity of a typical inhabitant, both his taste for exotic foods and ability to navigate the minefield of local national twaddle points. In terms of what realy counts 'The Triple Crown' who would or could not be excited when their side wins?

But then in the Islands you'll quickly notice there is no guarantee that for example in Ireland everyone supports Ireland and the same for Wales etc. It seems to be a local habit to pick a side one likes early on and stick to that till win or loose the season ends. I used support an unlikely side since if I bet early on the odds were great and if they won, a Fiver bet would get me 100 quid.

A race or not a race, naw I don't buy that one! The more remote places maybe, but as one approaches the cities the diversity increases so that in the end there is no easy rule. Every part of the world seems to have left it's mark there.

Chip butties and Newcastle Brown Ale, why? Well you cruch the butties and quaff the ale, strange mystical auras then descend from Britania ( really is Bo Delicious the ancient liberator ) which makes one laugh untill subdued with copious douses of water.

On the other hand one can observe the bug on the bottom right leg of the Wicket off side Fielder for hours at a time while sipping small drips of real Limade, this is an art and takes a long time to cultivate. I never did manage to get Cricket off that well so I am as confused as the next person. I do know that if all the Batsmen from the same team are LBW then that side has nearly lost the match.

Note LBW means Leg Before Wicket. This sin is worse in terms of the peace of the Nation than driving the wrong way around a roundabout. This is but the surface of a very complicated matter for when one veers north of the Border into Caber country everything changes - here we are throwing tree trunks around, which is a sport - ahem If that's not enough confusion theres also Hurling and Shinti which is almost impossible to describe.

One's genetic code, for me this is extremely tiresome since I have a little of all but not enough of any to actualy be anything! Can I be me please?

Thank You.

One of the weirdest things about ariving in Blighty is the Tea at travel plazas, it is terrible! I once bought a guest a cup having spent some time praising Tea on the Trip, this was before I clued up. There I was with my two Paper Cups of this horrid stuff feeling so foolish and embarrased! even British Rail cups would've saved my dented pride. They cost me 2 pound as well. Now if you think that a change of venue is going to help think again - on my next trip I headed for Shannon thinking aha - land in Ireland and things must get better, wrong. The only difference was I got a real Cup like the good old BR cups.

For me the islands will always be Britian.