Here's my first "pass" at a song...

ACHIN' BUM
(Tune: Aikendrum)

Ken ye how the coffee might (achin' bum, achin' bum)
Come from an hermaphrodite? (achin' bum)
He can bite the cherry bright with his civet's teeth so bright
And his wind through sphincter tight (achin' bum, achin' bum)
Smells of coffee in the right (achin' bum)!

Did ye hear of Hinderland (achin' bum, achin' bum)
Did ye hear of Hinderland (achin' bum)
There you'll find the civet band who have sworn to clear the land
Of the cherries they demand (achin' bum, achin' bum
And the palm juice, too, they've planned (achin' bum)!


Beans go running round and round (achin' bum, achin' bum)
Beans go running round and round (achin' bum)
In the civet's stomach drowned, through intestines, then to ground
With a lovely plopping sound (achin' bum, achin' bum)
Where the bean pile can be found (achin' bum)

We have smelt the poops galore (achin' bum, achin' bum)
We have smelt the poops galore (achin' bum)
But we've sought the country o'er, gathered droppings by the score
For the Starbucks coffee store (achin' bum, achin' bum)
Still the civets poop some more (achin' bum)!

Ken ye how to take a swig? (achin' bum, achin' bum)
Ken ye how to take a swig? (achin' bum)
Kopi luwak smells of pig; it'll dance a little jig
In yer innards, small and big (achin' bum, achin' bum)
Through yer sphincter it'll dig (achin' bum)!