Here's my shameless attempt to win the Golden Cow Chip with Two-For-One Coupon... it's the SECOND to the last award I have to win...

- Al, with his eyes on the "Whole Bag of Chips" next time...

SHE WORE A ROLL OF TIN FOIL
Tune: She Wore A Yellow Ribbon
New words by Al Boyce 7/25/2001

Around her waist
She wore a roll of tin foil
She wore it 'neath her knickers
She crackled when she swayed
And when she shopped
She stored stuff in her tin foil
She'd stroll right past security
And wouldn't have to pay!

CHORUS1:
Have to Pay!
Have to Pay!
She'd stroll right past security and wouldn't have to pay!
Around her waist she wore a roll of tin foil
She'd stroll right past security and wouldn't have to pay!

Around the store
She stuffed stuff down her knickers
Her underwear was bulging
With the stuff she'd stole that day
And when she passed
Anti-shoplifting devices
They wouldn't beep or buzz and then
She wouldn't have to pay!

CHORUS2:
Have to Pay!
Have to Pay!
They wouldn't beep or buzz and then she wouldn't have to pay!
Around the store she stuffed stuff down her knickers
They wouldn't beep or buzz and then
She wouldn't have to pay!

And then one day
She stole some "Kopi Luwak"
300 dollar coffee from
A Starbucks-like cafe
The bag, foil-lined
Went likewise down her knickers
For coffee from a civet's butt
She shouldn't have to pay!

CHORUS3:
Have to Pay!
Have to Pay!
For coffee from a civet's butt she shouldn't have to pay!
And then one day she stole some "Kopi Luwak"
For coffee from a civet's butt
She shouldn't have to pay!

The klaxons clanged
The red lights started flashing
Security arrested her
They threw her in the pen
Foil stuffed in foil
Short-circuited the scanner
She calmly said (with pun intended)
Curses, foiled again!

CHORUS4:
Foiled again!
Foiled again!
She calmly said with pun intended, "Curses, foiled again!"
The klaxons clanged, the red lights started flashing
She calmly said with pun intended,
"Curses, foiled again!"