Responding to A Wandering Minstrel;
I generally hold what we in the Upper Midwest of the USA call a 'tipper' (don't ask me why!) with knuckles towards the drumhead, in a reverse 'pen' grip (ie, my fingertips point towards me, more or less). I think I am subconsciously tightening up my whole arm, duh. Never thought of that!! I generally drum in the lower quadrant of the drum, the one closest to my body. Yep, I'm righthanded, though technically I am amibidextrous and can play a bodhran with my left hand. I'm better with my right. I think I need a bigger drum, the one I have is only about 14" in diameter, which makes me squish my strokes a little. Dunno if that makes a difference or not.
W.