Here's the Cilla and Artie version

JOHN GRUMLIE

John Grumlie swore by the licht o' the moon and the green leaves on the trees
That he could dae mair work in a day than his wife could dae in three
His wife rose up in the mornin' wi' cares and troubles anew
John Grumlie bide at hame John and I'll gang haud the ploo

Sing fal de la la de lal de, fal al de lal de lay
John Grumlie bide at hame John and I'll gang haud the ploo

First ye maun dress your children fair and put them in their gear
And ye maun turn the malt John or else you'll spoil the beer
And ye maun reel the tweel John that I spun yesterday
And ye maun ca' the hens John else they'll all lay away

Now John forgot tae milk the coo and churn the butter tae
And all gaed wrang and nocht gaed right and he danced wi' rage that day
Then up he ran tae the top o' the knowe wi' monys a wave and shoot
She heard him and she heeded not and she steered the horse about

John Grumlie's wife come hame at e'en and laughed as she'd been mad
Tae see the hoose in sic a plight and John sae glum and sad
Says he this work is nay for me I'll dae nae mair guid wife
Indeed says she I'm weel content Ye may keep it the rest o' yer life

Tae the deil wi' that said surly John I'll dae as I've done before
Wi' that his wife's ta'en up a stick and John made aff tae the door
Stop stop guid wife I'll haud ma tongue I ken I'm sair tae blame
But as from noo I'll mind the ploo and ye maun bide at hame

Jack