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[ garvin | lyrics | oz | brain ] brought up these and WG's
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IF I ONLY HAD A BRAIN (IF I ONLY HAD A HEART)(IF I ONLY HAD THE NERVE)
Words by E.Y. Harburg, music by Harold Arlen - from The Wizard Of Oz

(Scarecrow)
I could while away the hours
Conferrin' with the flowers
Consultin’ with the rain
And my head I'd be scratchin'
While my thoughts were busy hatchin'.
If I only had a brain.

I'd unravel every riddle
For any individle
In trouble or in pain
With the thoughts I'd be thinkin',
I could be another Lincoln
If I only had a brain.

Oh, I could tell you why the ocean's near the shore
I could think of things I never thunk before
And then I'd sit
And think some more.

I would not be just a nuffin',
My head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain
And perhaps I'd deserve you
And be even worthy of you
If I only had a brain.

(Tin Woodsman)
When a man's an empty kettle
He should be on his mettle
And yet I'm torn apart
Just because I'm presumin'
That I could be kinda human
If I only had a heart.

I'd be tender, I'd be gentle
And awful sentimental
Regarding love and art
I'd be friends with the sparrows
And the boy that shoots the arrows
If I only had a heart.

Picture me, a balcony, above a voice sings low
& Wherefore art thou, Romeo? &
I hear a beat
How sweet!

Just to register emotion,
Jealousy, devotion
And really feel the part
I would stay young and chipper
And I'd lock it with a zipper
If I only had a heart.

(Cowardly Lion)
Life is sad, believe me missy,
When you're born to be a sissy
Without the vim and verve
But I could change my habits,
Nevermore be scared of rabbits
If I only hard the nerve.

I'm afraid there's no denyin'
I'm just a dandylion
A fate I don't deserve
But I could show my prowess,
Be a lion not a mowess
If I only had the nerve.

Oh, I'd be in my stride, a king down to the core
Oh, I'd roar the way I never roared before
And then I'd rrrwoof
And roar some more.

I would show the dinosaurus
Who’s king around the fores'
A king they'd better serve
Why with my regal beezer,
I could be another Caesar
If I only had the nerve.

HTML line breaks added. --JoeClone, 7-Dec-01.