It has only just dawned on me... In my original post I mentioned a friend who self-harms, this really is a different person -not me. Not 'code'. I have a feeling that's why folks have been so insistent of professional advice - & believe me I do encourage my friend to think about help from people who understand severe self-harm much better than I do. Loving/worrying about someone in so much pain isn't easy, as other people who have spoken here know all too well. If there is anyone who dos know anything about supporting someone at such risk, would you be willing to post who you are ? I can PM - & can explain why I CAN pm in a PM. Given there a few pratts out there maybe best not to post anything to fuel the fire ???? I'm sorry if I've caused anxiety, there's enough of that around as it is. Much thanks to you all.

rd