Jim: To a Monica and To a Floridian Voter entries seem to be lost to posterity, but I have an entry from 10 years ago that may be of interest. I wrote a column in my New Hampshire newspaper, scene of the first presidential primary, as follows:
In 1795 it seems, just a year before his death, and at a time of enormous suffering for many Scottish people, Burns wrote a series of election ballads highly supportive of a Whig friend, Mr. Patrick Heron, and savaging the Tory slate so favored by rich aristocrats. It occurred to Ramgunshoch that a poetry competition might properly enquire of what Burns might write if he looked out over the New Hampshire landscape of 1992.
Here is an advance peek at my entry, complete with glossary, which hopes to capture Ramgunshoch's bottle of Talisker with a wee bittie help from the Bard himself. Glossary: Trogging - n 1. Bartering, bargaining 2. Odds and ends 3. Rubbishy goods, insubstantial trash 4. Worthless specimens, riff-raff 5. Nefarious or illicit dealings
Braw = fine, siller = silver, ane = one, speir = ask, chiel = lad, sic = such, skiddle = move rapidly and lightly, unco laith = very loath, fowk = folk.

Wha Will Buy My Trogging?
(Tune - Buy Broom Besoms)

Wha will buy my trogging?
Fine election ware;
Broken trade of hucksters,
All in high repair.

Chorus
Buy braw troggin
In the North Countrie;
Wha wants troggin
Let him come tae me.

Davie Duke's no cast his cowl
Intae the Grantite State;
An all-white population gies him
Naebody tae hate.

Buy braw toggin, etc.

Poor Agran and Fulani got
Excluded frae debate;
They wadnae lay their siller doon
On fuhrer Spirou's plate.

Buy braw troggin, etc.
Glitzy Billy Clinton gabbin
O' his health care plan.
Wi' his ane provider, speir,
Is he Prudential's man?

Buy braw troggin, etc.

Pat Buchanan's fuming at
Thon scand'lous New York Times;
He's just an anti-Semite chiel
When read between his lines.

Buy braw troggin, etc.

And shed nae tears for Wilder, tho
He's droppit oot the race;
Fast track tae the White Hoose?
Fie! We dinnae trust sic pace.

Buy braw troggin, etc.

Should Jolly Joker Kerrey
Ye try tae catch and grill,
He'll blithely skiddle roond the gaff,
Ye'll hook his brither, Bill.

Buy braw troggin, etc.

Geordie Bush at Cabletron
Tae fool us a' he shares
Five minutes wi' the workers,
Wha toil for millionaires.

Buy braw troggin, etc.

Now Harkin and his lawyer clique
Cry "Up the working man!";
But hard times ower in Farmington
They're unco laith tae scan.

Buy braw troggin, etc.

On pachyderms and donkey fowk,
Waste neither cash nor love;
Write in yon honest Nader's name,
And nane o' they above.

Buy braw trogging, etc.

Well, that's my shot for the Ramgunshoch whisky, but competition is usually stiff and I'm not confident. Last year I was beaten out by a puppet from Strafford, and the year before (worse still) by an Englishman.....

2002 Note: Geordie Bush was George Bush Sr. seeking re-election, but who was later beaten by Clinton - who then sold universal healthcare down the river.
Nader was running, 10 years ago, as a write-in candidate on Republican and Democratic tickets.

P.S. Great entry, great tune and a great bunch of stupid judges gave the whiskey to someone else. Ochone! Ochone! as Angus Og used to say.