Sorry to be a bore … but any questioning of the relevance of this thread in your esteemed organ displays an incomplete knowledge of how the folk process operates in the island of Ireland. It is well-known that new songs of any worth do not emerge unless a "rake" (coll. a large number) of "lachakoes" (coll. people of a generally reprobate character) get together for an extended period of "slaggin'" or "sleggin'" (coll. indulging in petty, vicious humour at each others' expense). The conviviality of such occasions is generally enhanced by the consumption of "bucky" (coll. a "tonic wine" imported from England) and – in certain circumstances - by the ingestion or inhalation of proscribed substances.

When "musicianers" (coll. people who play musical instruments) are present at such gatherings, it is normal for one or two songs to be coined by the assembled lachakoes. Occasionally they survive to the present day (e.g. Coleraine Regatta, performed some time back by Paul Brady in his Johnstons' days). More often they fall by the wayside, victims of the detrimental effect of "bucky" on the memory. Thus, alas, the tradition has lost such great ballads as "The Night Tim Carville Got His Hole"; "The Broke-Down Lorry At Moira"; "The Bus-Fare From Poyntzpass", "The Only Drunk Man In Bessbrook" and the classic "Gravel-Holes Of Ardmore".