I'd like to sing you a wee song I collected on my travels. It's called The Ballad Of Eamonn Holmes.

In my memory I will always see
The grub that I have loved so well
Cafolla's fish is a tasty dish
I was lured inside by the smell
At the oul Burger Stap
I'd a burger in a bap
Aye, and chips, I could have ate a mountain
And I muttered "Please
Could I have a few more peas?" In the town I have loved so well

All the odours rare in the mid-Ulster air
Like a language that we could all understand
I remember the day when I got my first pay
And I bought out a whole Irwin's van
My face I stuffed
I could never get enough
My da used to say "Now listen, Eamonn!
If you lick thon butter-knife
I will have your bloody life!"
Ah … the grub I have loved so well

I soon returned, the instant that I learned
That oul' Lurgan Town had got up off its knees
There's no Milan, the Rendezvous is the White Wran
But there's a faint smell of pizza on the breeze
And there's Chinese boys installed
And the very best of all
There's a new McDonald's – it's a drive-in
With their burgers and their buns
I thank God for what they've done
To the town I loved so well