Gardai in County Galway have confirmed the discovery a large percussion dump in the town of Roundstone.

A trained percussion defusal squad is on hand.

A spokesman said. "Jaysus. But it was desperate, right enough. There was enough goatskin on all of the bodhráns in thon place to make a waistcoat for Eamonn Holmes. Or a biker jacket for Gino Lupari."

Police in Northern Ireland are warning people to be on the look-out. Music shops with "Book of Kells"-type lettering are best-avoided. If you come upon a suspicious bodhrán, contact your local police station and a squad of highly trained bodhrán defusal experts will be despatched immediately.

Hardware shops are reporting a huge surge is sales of Stanley knives as squads of "Percussion Vigilantes" have formed in most major population centres in Irekand, North and South.

Christy Moore is helping police with their enquiries.